We had a hard winter, especially in its latter half. We got flu, dealt with more snowstorms than we could count, tried to entertain two very bored little boys. Despite my best intentions – I’d started Lent wanting to watch what I ate, finish my novella, and figure out whether I could freelance full-time – I pigged out, quit fiction, and struggled to stay afloat with my freelance assignments.
Turnabout came in March with a halfway decent tax refund and my discovery of the TLC show “What Not to Wear.” I have never cared about fashion, but the combination of women (often mothers) like me and the witty repartee of hosts Stacy London and Clinton Kelly hooked me. As I watched them tell these women that they deserved to look good because they deserved to feel good, I realized that I, too, needed a makeover.
Gah! Did I just write that?? Seriously?? Yes, I did. And yet I couldn’t figure out how to obtain one. I wasn’t about to try to get on the show (having no time to do so, and not sure all three of my boys could survive several days without me). In desperation, feeling frumpy and style-less in my sweats, I turned to the Internet. I researched skin tone and body types, learning what colors and styles would look good on me and why. (The latter bit of information is reinforced on WNTW: maximize the womanly assets!) Armed with this information, I hit the stores. Newport News has always been a favorite of mine, and I found some new spring-summer things at JC Penney and even on eBay.
I got my new clothes last week, and I must say: Damn, I look good. Even without the makeup piece (I’m hoping for a free makeover from RaisingMaine.com, but am considering going to a Macy’s counter), I’m really excited by the amount of color in my wardrobe and the ways I’ve learned to add life to old favorites. And there’s been another benefit: I’m back writing.
See, looking good does indeed have me feeling good. I feel like I’m developing my own style, which I’ve never really had before (having relied on others to buy clothes for me, which were often hit or miss in terms of flattery, and largely dependent on sales). And that amazing boost of confidence has made me believe more in myself as a writer. That I am capable of finding color and fit and style, and that I can translate it into words on the page.
Even though I made a potentially confidence-busting decision this past week – to shelve the novel I’d been marketing to agents, and start over with a different project – indulging my inner girly girl has overshadowed whatever crisis I may have felt, and I’m moving forward with the horror novella I started in February. It’s a different genre with a different theme, and I think it might actually go somewhere.
We’ll see. Meanwhile, the weather is warming up, and I’ve got girly clothes to wear.
A few years ago, a friend of mine mentioned she’d read a (no doubt highly scientific) survey of French women, who said they thought Americans were pissy/depressed because they didn’t wear interesting underwear.
At the risk of TMI, I’ve kind of taken that to heart. My undies aren’t structurally interesting, but instead of buying white I’ll buy bright colors. It does make me feel surprisingly happy getting dressed in the morning.
Also, I find that clothes that fit well make me feel good. Of course, I prefer it when the smaller sizes fit well (my weight fluctuates so I have a range stashed in the closet). But while I like knowing the larger sizes no longer fit, actually wearing baggy clothes doesn’t do much for my confidence. It just makes me feel like I need to act like a grown up and go shopping. Whatever my size, I’m rarely a fan of clothes shopping.
Megan, that’s an interesting thought. I’ve gravitated to cotton underwear over the years because it’s supposed to be healthier, but I must say that I had a much better sense of myself when I wore more interesting underwear.
Christa, you always had a *great* sense of style, and you always managed to look feminine without being excessively girly. I’m glad you are rediscovering your Self — it’s far too easy to get wrapped up in the Mom thing (ESPECIALLY in a house full of men!!!), and you are way too classy to stay locked in that trap. I’m looking forward to seeing the New You (and, hopefully, to helping it along…).
Megan, I hate shopping too. I realized it was because I would walk into a store and be overwhelmed by the range of choices – never having known what would look good on me. The research was well worth it, and although I’ll never shop to relax like some women do, at least now I can make a strategy. (I SO shop like a guy.)
As for underwear, I too wear cotton – but I buy from Victoria’s Secret. I wait for a 5 for $20 sale or whatever. Not as cheap as a 6-pack from Target, but definitely sexier, and I do feel happier on the days I get to wear it.
Mom, thank you for saying so. I think it isn’t so much that I “rediscovered” myself as that I had to adapt to my own maturation, both physical and emotional, which determine a basic sense of style.
That’s another great reason to watch “What Not to Wear” – the hosts really play up maturity and the fact that what worked for a woman 10 or even 20 years ago will not work now. And they help their subjects figure out how to adapt and still look beautiful.
Even though I’m not a Mum yet, I’m not a big socialiser. At work I wear a uniform, running errands I wear tracky dacks and my only chance to dress up is when I hook up with the girlfriends. Thankfully we have a standing date once a month and it’s my chance to actually see my silhoute and put on some make up. It makes such a difference. I feel a buzz that lasts a week.
And I too am a cotton underwear proponent but my luxury is bras. I always buy sturdy bras but they’re pretty too and always have the cleavage factor so that on the days I want to enjoy my femininity I can wear a v-line top and feel good.
[...] 2008 by christammiller I have been trying to break out of the domestic mold for some time now. I bought girl clothes, attended a grown-up party, and made a new friend whose children are so close to being out of the [...]